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How to Get a Staph Infection

Staphylococcus (staph) is a type of bacteria that can cause a lot of problems for humans. It can be the cause of many different diseases and some of them can even be deadly. If you enjoy living on the edge and have no qualms about felling terribly ill then you just might want to get a staph infection. The good news is that this type of infection is very common so you should have no problem picking it up.

What is a Staph Infection?

Before we go into the crazy topic of how to get a staphylococcus infection it might be worthwhile to have a closer look at this fascinating germ. You may be surprised to learn that staph isn’t just one bacterium but instead refers to a whole group of different bacteria which are all capable of creating different types of mischief. The name of staphylococcus comes from the Greek language and means ‘grapes’. This is not because staph taste anything like grapes but they do sort of look like this fruit when examined under the microscope – although you do need a bit of imagination to appreciate the similarity. Staphylococcus tends to be highly contagious and this makes the job of those who want to host this germ a lot easier.

The number of diseases and conditions that are caused by staph infection is impressive. They include:

  • Skin infections
  • Pneumonia
  • Urinary tract infections
  • Cellulites
  • Food poisoning
  • Sepsis
  • Toxic shock syndrome
  • MRSA
  • Eye infections
  • VRSA
  • Endocarditis
  • Neonatal sepsis
  • Impetigo

The above are just some of the problems cause by staph infections – we could go on all day.

How to Get a Staph Infection

Now that you have been suitably impressed by the damage that this type of bacteria can cause, you will likely want to know how to get it. Here are just a few suggestions:

  • As we have already mentioned staph infections tend to be highly contagious so if you know somebody that has one of these infections you should get close to them. Having a lot of close physical contact with somebody with Staphylococcus diseases is probably the number one thing you can do if you want to become similarly sick.
  • If you stop washing your hands then this can greatly increase your chances of getting staph. This will work particularly well if you are in contact with infected people.
  • If you are a woman you should leave your tampon in as long as possible during menstruation. This will increase your chances of attracting this bacteria and toxic shock syndrome will be highly likely.
  • If you eat the wrong type of food and don’t exercise it will help weaken your immune system. You will then be less able to defend against a staph infection which is good news for you.
  • Move to a country where they overprescribe antibiotics and take as much of this medication as possible. This will lower your resistance and your prize could be MRSA or even the more deadly VRSA.