How to Have a Heart Attack?

by Anthony Carter on July 26, 2011


heart attack illustratedThere are few things more serious than a heart attack. If you are feeling a bit unnoticed then having a heart attack is sure to make you the centre of attention – assuming you don’t die right away. If this is something that you’ve always wanted to experience for yourself then just read on. By the end of this article you should have all the information you need. Of course, if you want to avoid having a heart attack you could do the opposite of what is suggested here.

What is a Heart Attack?

It probably makes sense to first define what we mean by a heart attack. In doctor talk it is actually referred to as a ‘myocardial infarction’ or MI if you like abbreviations. What happens is that blood cannot get to a part of the heart muscle and so that area dies. This means that the heart is unable to function properly. If enough of the heart is destroyed it will mean death for the person having the heart attack. In the US there are well over a million people who suffer a heart attack each year; almost half of these people will die because of it.

How to Get a Heart Attack

What follows are just a few of the ways that you can increase your risk of developing a heart attack:

  • Lead a sedentary lifestyle where you spend most of the time sitting around watching TV or working on the computer. This will help ensure that you have high cholesterol and suffer from obesity.  It should also help ensure that you have high blood pressure. Those people who exercise regularly greatly reduce their risk of a heart attack.
  • If you smoke cigarettes you should keep up the good work. This habit damages the walls of blood vessels and so this should mean that you are an accident waiting to happen. Damaged blood vessels are great because they allow cholesterol to collect there; it should only be a matter of time before you visit heart attack city.
  • Be sure to eat a lot more calories than you need. That way you will become obese and greatly increase your chances of having an MI.
  • Eating the wrong food should also increase your chances of developing diabetes which is a powerful risk factor for cardiovascular disease.
  • Add as much stress to your life as you possibly can. Maybe you could have an affair with your next door neighbor or try to deliberately annoy your boss? Nervous tension should put your blood pressure in the high zone and this is where you want it to be if you want a heart attack.
  • Develop a taste for illegal drugs; especially stimulants like crack cocaine or speed. These substances are the equivalent of taking a sledgehammer to your heart so it is probably only a matter of time before you wake up in intensive care – assuming you do wake up.
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