How to Be Depressed?

by Anthony Carter on July 12, 2011


depressedIf you have always wondered about what it feels like to be depressed then this might be the perfect article for you. If you search the web you will find millions of articles on depression prevention, but there is hardly any information aimed at those who actually want to develop this mental health problem. It is the aim of this article to rectify that situation in the name of fairness. Of course, the question that begs to be answered as to why anyone would want to have such a life destroying condition, but who are we to judge.

What is Depression?

Before we go on to the things you need to do to be depressed it will probably be helpful to describe what it actually involves. This is a mental health problem where people feel like they are caught in a black hole. Typical symptoms include:

  • Suicidal thoughts
  • Loss of interest in life
  • Loss of appetite
  • Self-hatred
  • Lack of energy
  • Inability to concentrate
  • Body pains with no obvious cause
  • Irritability
  • Restlessness
  • Insomnia
  • Feelings of hopelessness and impending doom

If you are experiencing these symptoms then there is a really good chance that you are already depressed. If not then there are some things that you can do to develop depression.

How to Get Depressed

Here are just a few suggestions for how to get depressed:

  • Alcohol and drug abuse is a superb way to develop depression. The great thing about addiction is that in the beginning it seems to give you wings to fly; later though it takes away the sky. Not only do the physical effects of substance abuse cause changes in your brain to make you depressed, but also it destroys your life. As you lose friends, family, possessions and your career to addiction you will have plenty of good reasons to feel depressed. This makes addiction the most effective means for developing depression.
  • Another great way to encourage the arrival of depression is to put a lot of stress into your relationships. You can do this by treating your partner badly and by being a bad provider. If you have followed suggestion one and developed an addiction you will already be well on your way to putting sufficient stress into your relationships. You could then hit the tipping point by having a few extramarital affairs and getting caught. This should produce enough stress in your relationship to drive even a Zen master into depression.
  • Loneliness is a great friend to depression so try to be a loner as much as possible. Friends are overrated anyway. Spend your time alone and you should find that the symptoms of depression begin to appear in your life.
  • One of the other major reasons for depression is chronic unemployment. It is easy to make yourself unemployable; all you have to do is demonstrate a lack of interest in work. If somebody is stupid enough to offer you a job make sure to be as unproductive as possible. That way you will not only lose the job but they will also give you a bad reference.
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